Thursday, January 11, 2007
Big Announcement
NO! I'm not engaged! and NO! I'm not pregnant! (so stop asking, MOM!) Now that we have that out of the way.....
This past week or so my sleep schedule has been kinda screwed up because of the holidays and the not having to go to work and getting to stay up late. So the other night while trying to get myself back on schedule in an attempt to have a somewhat productive work week, I decided to go to bed at a decent hour. Getting to bed wasn't a problem, I'm pretty much a bum by nature and would be fine with never getting out of bed in the first place. The problem came with the sleeping. It wasn't really happening. So as I laid there staring at the ceiling, clock, insides of my eyelids, my mind began to wonder. It wondered to many places that night but one place in particular seemed to be the most important. It was wonderfully brilliant and it is because of that mind wondering that I would like to make this announcement today.
I would like to announce my candidacy for the 2016 Presidential election. (Though Will tells me I shouldn't actually announce my candidacy, I have to announce my intent to form an exploratory committee, so I guess that's what I'm actually doing... but whatever!) Now, I know what you all are thinking, but trust me I've thought this through. Let me explain.....
1. Why 2016?
Simple I won't be old enough to run until then.
2. Since when do I care about politics?
It's not politics I'm interested in, it's the American people. They deserve to have me as their President.
3. Wouldn't it make more sense to start out running for Mayor or something before jumping straight to the Presidency?
Maybe for some people, but not for me. I have a theory. The longer a person holds public office, the more corrupt they tend to become. (I know there are probably exceptions, so don't start throwing out the names of your favorite politicians, because frankly, i don't care.) By going straight to the Presidency, I get to pass the corrupting and the American people get me... an honest person with no hidden agenda.
4. What makes you think you can win?
Well it's me - DUH! But really... I think politicians tend to be extremist. They think if they can't have it their way then it just shouldn't happen. I (and i think the majority of Americans) take a more moderate view. I understand that some times you can't get everything you want, but you can get something closer to what you want if you're willing to listen to the other side and make a compromise. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Also, I'm cute and sassy... who wouldn't vote for that?!!?
5. How are you going to fund your campaign?
I've already got one person who said they would make a contribution (thanks K-dog) I only need about.... a bagillion more. Besides, I'm in marketing, i'm creative! This is a grassroots campaign. It starts here.... with you... my loyal readers... all 7 (ish) of you! Plus, i've got years to get my name out there... If i start now... I'll be a household name by 2016.
So there you have it. Congratulations! You're one of the first to know! I'm counting on your vote! Isn't it a good thing I couldn't sleep? This might never have come to me. (Anyone think i should consider taking sleeping pills?)
3 Comments:
This one time after a theatre event, all the crew peeps hung out at Eat 'n Park late into the night, as usual, and someone encroached their table's ketchup bottle on another table and all geopolitical hell broke loose. Governments were set up in seconds, opposing factions drew lines in the, uh, formica, I guess, and it was ON.
I was Social Coordinator for one government in which my roommate was Vice President and she really relied on me through a lot of tough times. For instance, there was the time when Hubster said we should set up camp in Morocco and then went all tour-guide on us and proclaimed, "Of all the gin joints in all the world, this one's our seat of Parliament." and she nearly fell out of her chair laughing. I made sure she didn't smite her socially-unifying image by hitting the floor.
So I'm saying would like to volunteer for your Social Coordinator position. After all, I have experience.
You got my vote, sexy!
-ArtBoy
You may or may not know it, but your Uncle is running next year! He has already turned in his application and received his official campaign number - along with a bazillion campaign rules and regulations. We'll keep you posted on how the campaign goes. Tell your friend to vote for Robinson and Riley - Vote "R" for "Right"!!!
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