Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Words you don't want to hear on a plane

"Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. We don't have auxiliary power today...." (WHAT?!) "So the engines won't turn over.." (Hmmm that seems like a problem) "We have an air cart to get the engines started.." (so, you're just gonna blow some air into the engine to get it going? good. good. yeah. that makes me feel good.) "But the cart we have doesn't have enough air in it..." (AWESOME!) "They're bringing another cart, it'll be about 10 minutes..." (So, not only am i gonna DIE, but I'll be 10 minutes late getting to LA)

Seriously... a simple "they're topping off the fuel," "We're waiting for a couple more pieces of luggage," or "we're missing some paper work, its on the way" would have been fine.

Moral of the story: When the truth paints a picture of eminent DEATH..... LIE!!!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Bored enough to blog

I’m sitting in a Marriott hotel room in Dayton OH. It’s not even 8pm but I’m by myself and well… bored enough to blog. At 9pm I will have CSI to entertain me, but for now I’m watching celebrity Jeopardy. I’m not sure if I’ve gotten dumber… or celebrities have gotten smarter. I don’t really watch Jeopardy that much, but when I have watched I distinctly remember enjoying celebrity Jeopardy because I could get a much larger percentage of questions correct. I don’t think I’m doing that well this time.

So before my thrilling evening of getting questions wrong on celebrity jeopardy by myself, I was at a conference. While there I pumped a local for info on the town. I found out that there was an Art museum just a couple miles from the convention center. There was supposed to be a Rembrandt exhibit and best of all the admission to the museum was FREE! So I headed over only to find that most of the museum was free, but it was $14 to see the Rembrandts. I pondered the option, but decided that since I was already hungry and the museum was likely to keep me busy for an hour or two anyway, I’d save the company the $14 (sorta kicking myself now, but I’m not really a big art buff or anything, so I think I’ll live).

On my way out I asked a security guard where I should get dinner. As I usually do when traveling, I specifically asked for a local place. He told me to head to Barnsiders. I asked Willows (our GPS, named after Catherine Willows from CSI, because she may seem sweet, but she’s a little bit sassy) how to get to Barnsiders and off I went. I was a bit concerned as I drove through what seemed to be a pretty shady part of town. (Though I have to say, in Ohio they have “Drive In” stores. I haven’t actually tried it, but it seems you drive into the store, which is basically just a big barn type structure, tell them what you want and they stick it in your car. You never have to get out!!!! How great is that?!?!?!? Did I mention most of these stores seem to sell mostly liquor? Interesting, no?)

I got to Barnsiders and was concerned by the outside of the building. I really expected to walk in and find a biker bar. Reality? Quite different. The clientele consisted primarily of couples in their 70’s. The inside was HUGE. It could easily hold 300-400 people I’m sure. It would have been a great place for a wedding reception or some kind of party, expect the décor was wretched. Dark brown wood paneling from the floor to the chair rail. The booths had Hershey’s Milk Chocolate colored fake leather. SCARY!

I had a pretty good steak and an incredible Sangria. According to the menu they make it there, frankly I don’t care where it was made… it good! I ate my dinner (ALONE) and eavesdropped on the conversation of a double date. Two couples, both probably in there 70’s, talked about just about everything under the sun. One of the women told a story about trying to get her new phone hooked up, the other three chimed in with terror stories of VCR’s and DVD players. Then the same woman mentioned something about someone saying she was a bad Christian. Later she mentioned that she couldn’t understand why people are so hard on the President. “When he talks he says things the same way I’d ‘em. That Nancy Grace called him a LIAR! He’s the President. That’s not how you talk about the President. You know, he thinks so much like me, I think of him like a son.” Can I just say WHOA! Then the conversation turned to how lazy the youth of America are. As they all complained about my generation’s laziness. One of them piped up with, “What they need is a War.” “But a real war like we had,” responded another. WOW Moral of the story, eavesdropping = fun!

After I finished my tasty steak and Sangria I headed up the road to a local ice cream shop I had noticed on the way to Barnsiders. The name of the place was Sherer’s. According the sign they have been around since 1939. They have 43 flavors, all home-made. I had a scoop of peanut butter in a sugar cone. YUM! Only downer…. the 2 teenage girls working there were probably 100 pounds combined. Shouldn’t it be a rule that if you work at an ice cream shop you have to be fat? If I worked at an ice cream shop I would eat my weight in ice cream….. everynight! New rule… if you work in an ice cream you gotta get fat, it makes the rest of us feel better somehow.

Well… CSI is about to start. So… time to watch people die on TV WOO HOO!!!!

Friday, November 03, 2006

A Photo Essay: Weebles